Before you order a drink in public, you should read this! Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could 'nail' a woman's personality based on what she drinks. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts.
The results: PART A: WOMEN-DRINKS, WHO THEY ARE, & YOU!
Drink: Beer
Personality: Causal, low-maintenance; down to earth.Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.
Drink: Blender Drinks Personality: Flaky, whiny, annoying; a pain in the ass.Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabana boy.
Drink: Mixed Drinks Personality: Older, more refined, high maintenance, has very picky taste; knows EXACTLY what she wants. Your Approach: You won't have to approach her. If she's interested, she'll send YOU a drink.......
Drink: Wine (does not include White Zinfandel) Personality: Conservative and classy; sophisticated yet giggles.Your Approach: Tell her you love to travel and spend quiet evenings with my friends.
Drink: White Zinfandel
Personality: Easy; thinks she is classy and sophisticated, actually, she has NO clue. Your Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is...this should be an easy target.
Drink: Shots
Personality: Likes to hang with pals and looking to get totally drunk... and naked.Your Approach: Easiest hit in the joint. You have been blessed. Nothing to do but wait, however, be careful not to make her mad!
Drink: Tequila
No explanations required - everyone just KNOWS what happens there.
PART B: MAN-DRINKS & WHO THE MEN ARE!
THEN, there is the MALE addendum -- The deal with guys is, as always, very simple and clear cut:
Domestic Beer: He's poor and wants to get laid.
Imported Beer: He likes good beer and wants to get laid.
Wine: He is hoping that the wine will give him a sophisticated image to help him get laid.
Whiskey: He doesn't give a damn about anything but getting laid.
Tequila: He is thinking he has a chance with the toothless waitress.
White Zinfandel: He's gay
Friday, October 30, 2009
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Socialism Truths:
"The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else."
"You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity."
"What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving."
"When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them; and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friend, is the beginning of the end of any nation.. "
"You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it."
"You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity."
"What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving."
"When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them; and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friend, is the beginning of the end of any nation.. "
"You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it."
Quote Of The Day...........
"As an American I am not so shocked that Obama was given the Nobel Peace Prize without any accomplishments to his name, but that America gave him the White House based on the same credentials." - - Newt Gingrich
Friday, October 23, 2009
How To Stay Young!!!
1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay 'them' .
2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever.. Never let the brain idle. 'An idle mind is the devil's workshop.' And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love , whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.
10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER :Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.Worry about nothing, pray about everything!!!
2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever.. Never let the brain idle. 'An idle mind is the devil's workshop.' And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love , whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.
10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER :Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.Worry about nothing, pray about everything!!!
PONDERISMS
I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead. Life is sexually transmitted. Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to? Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism. In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire? Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out?' (LOVE IT)
Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway? If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead. Life is sexually transmitted. Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to? Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism. In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire? Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out?' (LOVE IT)
Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway? If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Bad American
I ride Harley Davidson Motorcycles and believe in American products.
I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some Liberal governmental functionary be it Democratic or Republican!
I'm in touch with my feelings and I like it that way!
I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer, it makes you a smart American.
I think being a minority does not make you noble or victimized, and does not entitle you to anything. Get over it!
I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, do it in English.
I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God when and where they want to.
My heroes are John Wayne, Babe Ruth, Roy Rogers, and Willie G. Davidson that makes the awesome Harley Davidson Motorcycles.
I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.
I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time watching or arguing about it.
I've never owned a slave, or was a slave, I haven't burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you!
So, shut up already.
I believe if you don't like the way things are here, go back to where you came from and change your own country!
This is AMERICA .We like it the way it is!
If you were born here and don't like it you are free to move to any Socialist country that will have you.
I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse Jackson preaches, where he gets his money, and why he is always part of the problem and not the solution.
Can I get an AMEN on that one?
?
I also think the cops have the right to pull you over if you're breaking the law, regardless of what color you are.
And, no, I don't mind having my face shown on my driver’s license.
I think it's good.... And I'm proud that 'God' is written on my money.
I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation in the world for the next four years.
I dislike those people standing in the intersections trying to sell me stuff or trying to guilt me into making 'donations' to their cause.
Get a Job and do your part!
I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes two parents.
I believe 'illegal' is illegal no matter what the lawyers think.
I believe the American flag should be the only one allowed in AMERICA!
If this makes me a BAD American, then yes, I'm a BAD American.
I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some Liberal governmental functionary be it Democratic or Republican!
I'm in touch with my feelings and I like it that way!
I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer, it makes you a smart American.
I think being a minority does not make you noble or victimized, and does not entitle you to anything. Get over it!
I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, do it in English.
I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God when and where they want to.
My heroes are John Wayne, Babe Ruth, Roy Rogers, and Willie G. Davidson that makes the awesome Harley Davidson Motorcycles.
I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.
I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time watching or arguing about it.
I've never owned a slave, or was a slave, I haven't burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you!
So, shut up already.
I believe if you don't like the way things are here, go back to where you came from and change your own country!
This is AMERICA .We like it the way it is!
If you were born here and don't like it you are free to move to any Socialist country that will have you.
I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse Jackson preaches, where he gets his money, and why he is always part of the problem and not the solution.
Can I get an AMEN on that one?
?
I also think the cops have the right to pull you over if you're breaking the law, regardless of what color you are.
And, no, I don't mind having my face shown on my driver’s license.
I think it's good.... And I'm proud that 'God' is written on my money.
I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation in the world for the next four years.
I dislike those people standing in the intersections trying to sell me stuff or trying to guilt me into making 'donations' to their cause.
Get a Job and do your part!
I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes two parents.
I believe 'illegal' is illegal no matter what the lawyers think.
I believe the American flag should be the only one allowed in AMERICA!
If this makes me a BAD American, then yes, I'm a BAD American.
Couldn't get in for awhile....
.........the magazine is kicking ass. If you don't live in the Daytona area and would like to check CHOPS out, shoot me an e-mail and I'll send you one FREE, or you can subscribe and receive 12 Issues for only $29.95.
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