Sunday, December 27, 2009
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Huuum?????
An elderly man in Texas had owned a large farm for several years. He had a beautiful large pond at the back of the property next to the road, and he'd fixed it up real nice with picnic tables, horseshoe pits, and he'd planted some nice flowers and fruit trees next to the pond.
One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond to look it over, as he hadn't been down there for a while. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.
As he neared the pond, he heard splashing and female voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw that 5 young women had parked their car at the side of the road, climbed the fence and were skinny-dipping in his pond.
He made the women aware of his presence and they all went hurriedly splashing to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him, "We're naked and we're not coming out until you leave!"
The old man frowned and yelled back, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond."
Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm just here to feed the alligator."
Moral of the story: Old men can still think fast!!
One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond to look it over, as he hadn't been down there for a while. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.
As he neared the pond, he heard splashing and female voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw that 5 young women had parked their car at the side of the road, climbed the fence and were skinny-dipping in his pond.
He made the women aware of his presence and they all went hurriedly splashing to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him, "We're naked and we're not coming out until you leave!"
The old man frowned and yelled back, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond."
Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm just here to feed the alligator."
Moral of the story: Old men can still think fast!!
Thanks
For me, ( your new wab page)it is a refreshing entry into the cyber world. I will continue to support you and the magazine, as it provides a great source of amusement to me and reading some of your "editorials" is always interesting.
You certainly provide a much more intriguing facet of the biker world than that bunch of idiots on the The Horse(s)(ass). Keep up the good work.
It is apparent that we share much the same philosophy, in spite of our divergent backgrounds. But I have found that to be the norm in the true "biker" world, whether many of us realize it or not. Bikers are much like nickel-plated gold coins. You don't really know what you got with one until you scratch the surface. Stay well and good luck with your endeavors.
C. Haygood
You certainly provide a much more intriguing facet of the biker world than that bunch of idiots on the The Horse(s)(ass). Keep up the good work.
It is apparent that we share much the same philosophy, in spite of our divergent backgrounds. But I have found that to be the norm in the true "biker" world, whether many of us realize it or not. Bikers are much like nickel-plated gold coins. You don't really know what you got with one until you scratch the surface. Stay well and good luck with your endeavors.
C. Haygood
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
ACORN..........
Here is a list of the 7 Senators who voted to keep funding ACORN
{The nay voters of Senate Amendment 2355 to HR 3288}
Burris (D) from Illinois;
Casey (D) from Pennsylvania;
Durbin (D) from Illinois;
Gillibrand (D) from New York;
Leahy (D) from Vermont;
Sanders (I) from Vermont; and
Whitehouse (D) from Rhode Island.
---------------------------------------------------------
Here is a list of those who didn't vote at all
{Stayed silent on Senate Amendment 2355 to HR 3288}
Burr (R) from North Carolina;
Graham (R) from South Carolina;
McCain (R) from Arizona;
Coburn (R) from Oklahoma;
Gregg (R) from New Hampshire;
Vitter (R) from Louisiana;
Hutchison (R) from Texas
Byrd (D) from West Virginia; and
Mikulski (D) from Maryland.
Cochise
OKie dokie................
http://www.truthorfiction.com/rumors/o/oklahoma-laws.htm
OKLAHOMA MAY JUST BE THE PLACE TO LIVE!
An update from Oklahoma:
Oklahoma law passed, 37 to 9, had a few liberals in the mix, an amendment to place the Ten Commandments on the front entrance to the state capitol. The feds in D.C., along with the ACLU, said it would be a mistake. Hey this is a conservative state, based on Christian values...! HB 1330
Guess what.......... Oklahoma did it anyway.
Oklahoma recently passed a law in the state to incarcerate all illegal immigrants, and ship them back to where they came from unless they want to get a green card and become an American citizen. They all scattered. HB 1804. Hope we didn't send any of them to your state. This was against the advice of the Federal Government, and the ACLU, they said it would be a mistake.
Guess what.......... Oklahoma did it anyway.
Recently we passed a law to include DNA samples from any and all illegals to the Oklahoma database, for criminal investigative purposes. Pelosi said it was unconstitutional. SB 1102
Guess what........ Oklahoma did it anyway.
Several weeks ago, we passed a law, declaring Oklahoma as a Sovereign state, not under the Federal Government directives.. Joining Texas , Montana and Utah as the only states to do so.. More states are likely to follow: Louisiana, Alabama, Georgia, the Carolina's, Tennessee, Kentucky, Missouri, Arkansas, West Virginia, Mississippi, Florida. Save your confederate money, it appears the South is about to rise up once again. HJR 1003
The federal Government has made bold steps to take away our guns. Oklahoma, a week ago, passed a law confirming people in this state have the right to bear arms and transport them in their vehicles. I'm sure that was a set back for the criminals (and Obamaites). Liberals didn't like it -- But ....
Guess what........... Oklahoma did it anyway.
Just this month, my state has voted and passed a law that ALL driver's license exams will be printed in English, and only English, and no other language. We have been called racist for doing this, but the fact is that ALL of our road signs are in English only. If you want to drive in Oklahoma , you must read and write English. Really simple.
By the way, Obama does not like any of this.
Guess what....who cares... Oklahoma is doing it anyway.
Though whoever sent this reworded it a bit, I think OK is at least trying to help it's self and citizens....Cochise
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Hollywood Squares
Hollywood Squares: These great questions and answers are from the days when ' Hollywood Squares' game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted, as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course..
Q. Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?A. Paul Lynde: Loneliness! (The audience laughed so long and so hard it took up almost 15 minutes of the show!)
Q. Do female frogs croak? A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.
Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you beA. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years. A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.
Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman? A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.
Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married? A. Rose Marie: No wait until morning.
Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older? A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency...
Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say 'I Love You'? A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty...
Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'? A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.
Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking? A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.
Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather? A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily..
Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries Are you going to get any during the first year? A.. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.
Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score? A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other? A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet? A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.
Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls? A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do? A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?
Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to? A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.
Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people? A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.
Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it? A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.
Q.. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do? A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant? A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex? A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.
Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they? A. Charley Weaver: His feet.
Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed? A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh
Q. Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?A. Paul Lynde: Loneliness! (The audience laughed so long and so hard it took up almost 15 minutes of the show!)
Q. Do female frogs croak? A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.
Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you beA. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years. A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.
Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman? A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.
Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married? A. Rose Marie: No wait until morning.
Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older? A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency...
Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say 'I Love You'? A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty...
Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'? A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.
Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking? A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.
Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather? A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily..
Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries Are you going to get any during the first year? A.. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.
Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score? A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other? A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet? A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.
Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls? A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do? A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?
Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to? A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.
Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people? A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.
Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it? A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.
Q.. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do? A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant? A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex? A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.
Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they? A. Charley Weaver: His feet.
Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed? A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh
Free Phones!!!!
The Obama Phone
The nation is collapsing under the federal deficit and Washington can’t find a dime to cut from the budget. Here’s an idea. Stop the Obama phone. What’s the Obama phone, you ask? Well then, that tells me something important about you – you aren’t on welfare – you are just a stupid tax payer. Because everybody on the dole knows about the Obama phone.
It’s a government program called “Lifeline Benefits” that provides free telephone service to “income-eligible consumers.” Don’t you actually have to buy something to be a “consumer?” Apparently not in the era of “Change.”
So, in short, through this taxpayer-paid boondoggle, welfare recipients get; (1) a FREE new phone; (2) approximately 70 FREE minutes EVERY MONTH. The website states, “you will receive free cellular service, a free SafeLink Wireless cell phone and the assurance that you will get no bills and no contracts EVER!”
I wonder how many drug deals are being made over the Obama phones? Oh, to ask such a question would be profiling – and that would be wrong.
To see if you qualify for your very own Obama phone, (as a tax payer you actually paid for it) just go to the website www.safelinkwireless.com/enrollmentpublic/homes.aspx.
Don’t hold your breath until your new free phone arrives. Taxpayers just pay, silly.
Here’s something else you paid for….
But you will never get to use it. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s shiny new jet. Yep, it’s a USAF C-32 Boeing 757 – just for Madam Speaker. She uses it to commute back and forth between Capitol Hill and her home in California.
She had a small C-20 jet, but was angered because that had to stop to be refueled, so she ordered a big 200-seat C-32. Nancy flies back and forth to California every week and she is only on the job about three days a week.
It costs taxpayers about $60,000 for fuel and crew - one way. But we have to bring her back so double that every week. That comes to $480,000 every month – and$5,760.000 every year. That’s just for her commute. If she decides to take a junket somewhere the price skyrockets ever higher.
Keep in mind, when Nancy is back in DC – working for us – she is busy carving out legislation to force you and me to “reduce our carbon footprint” with Cap and Trade legislation that will destroy our standard of living. Make our homes cold with government-controlled thermostats and small cars the family won’t fit into. And she does it all because she “has compassion for the working men and women in this nation.”
The nation is collapsing under the federal deficit and Washington can’t find a dime to cut from the budget. Here’s an idea. Stop the Obama phone. What’s the Obama phone, you ask? Well then, that tells me something important about you – you aren’t on welfare – you are just a stupid tax payer. Because everybody on the dole knows about the Obama phone.
It’s a government program called “Lifeline Benefits” that provides free telephone service to “income-eligible consumers.” Don’t you actually have to buy something to be a “consumer?” Apparently not in the era of “Change.”
So, in short, through this taxpayer-paid boondoggle, welfare recipients get; (1) a FREE new phone; (2) approximately 70 FREE minutes EVERY MONTH. The website states, “you will receive free cellular service, a free SafeLink Wireless cell phone and the assurance that you will get no bills and no contracts EVER!”
I wonder how many drug deals are being made over the Obama phones? Oh, to ask such a question would be profiling – and that would be wrong.
To see if you qualify for your very own Obama phone, (as a tax payer you actually paid for it) just go to the website www.safelinkwireless.com/enrollmentpublic/homes.aspx.
Don’t hold your breath until your new free phone arrives. Taxpayers just pay, silly.
Here’s something else you paid for….
But you will never get to use it. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s shiny new jet. Yep, it’s a USAF C-32 Boeing 757 – just for Madam Speaker. She uses it to commute back and forth between Capitol Hill and her home in California.
She had a small C-20 jet, but was angered because that had to stop to be refueled, so she ordered a big 200-seat C-32. Nancy flies back and forth to California every week and she is only on the job about three days a week.
It costs taxpayers about $60,000 for fuel and crew - one way. But we have to bring her back so double that every week. That comes to $480,000 every month – and$5,760.000 every year. That’s just for her commute. If she decides to take a junket somewhere the price skyrockets ever higher.
Keep in mind, when Nancy is back in DC – working for us – she is busy carving out legislation to force you and me to “reduce our carbon footprint” with Cap and Trade legislation that will destroy our standard of living. Make our homes cold with government-controlled thermostats and small cars the family won’t fit into. And she does it all because she “has compassion for the working men and women in this nation.”
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